I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
