He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
