i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
