party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
