just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
