Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
