thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
