would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
