i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
