whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
