Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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