Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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