You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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