How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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