she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
