You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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