Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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