everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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