It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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