Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize