im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you would pick up someone in the library
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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