I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
