so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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