So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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