what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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