Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
