she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
