I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
