Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
