i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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