we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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