remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
