Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i drank out of a bidet.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
