I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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