when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
