just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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