the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
