you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
