Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Randomize
