Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
