It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize