Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
