Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
