We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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