NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
