I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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