Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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