Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
