She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
