You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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