You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
