the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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