You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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