I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
foreskin is a definite game changer
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh god it's open bar.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
