You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
